7 reasons to stop proving yourself to everyone else

You are GOOD enough, SMART enough, KIND enough and STRONG enough. You don’t need other people to validate you; you are already PRECIOUS.

Sometimes we try to show the world that we are flawless in the hope that everyone will like and accept us, but we can’t please everyone and we shouldn’t try. Our beauty lies in our vulnerability, our complex emotions, and our true imperfection. When we embrace who we are and choose to be who we really are instead of who we think others want us to be, we open ourselves up to real relationships, real happiness, and real success.

It is not necessary to draw up an act. There is no need to pretend to be someone you are not. You have nothing to prove to anyone because…

1. People to impress just want you to be yourself.

In the long run, it’s better to be hated for who you are than to be loved for who you are not. In fact, the only relationships that work well in the long run are the ones that make you a better person without turning you into someone other than yourself or preventing you from growing into the person you used to be.

Ignore the comparisons and expectations that knock on your door. The only person you should try to be the best you are is the person you were yesterday. Prove yourself to yourself, not others. The RIGHT people will love you for it, and they’ll appreciate all the things about you that scare the WRONG people. Bottom line: Don’t change to please people; be patient, keep being yourself and soon enough the RIGHT people will love the REAL you.

2. No one else really knows what’s best for YOU.

Don’t lose yourself in seeking acceptance from others. Walk your path with confidence and don’t expect anyone to understand your path, especially if they haven’t been exactly where you’re going. You have to take steps which are right for you; no one else is walking in your shoes.

Allow others to accept you as you are, or not accept you at all. Speak your truth, even if your voice shakes. By being true to yourself, you bring something exciting into the world that wasn’t there before. You are stunning when your passion and strength shine through, when you follow your own path – when you are not distracted by the opinions of others. You’re strong when you let your mistakes educate you, and your confidence is built on personal experience—when you know you can fall, get back up, and move forward without asking anyone’s permission. (Read Awaken the giant within.)

3. YOU are the only person who can change YOUR life.

In any situation you’ve ever been in, positive or negative, the one common thread is you. It is your responsibility, and yours alone, to recognize that no matter what has happened up to this point in your life, you are capable of making a choice to change your situation or change your perspective on it. Don’t let the opinions of others interfere with this prevailing reality.

What you are capable of achieving is not dependent on what other people think is possible for you. What you are able to achieve depends entirely on what you choose to do with your time and energy. So stop worrying about what everyone else thinks. Just keep living your truth. The only people who will blame you for this are those who want you to live a lie.

4. The materialistic measurement of society’s value is worthless.

If you find yourself trapped between what drives you and what society tells you is right, always follow the path that makes you feel alive—unless you want everyone to be happy but you. No matter where life throws you, big cities or small towns, you will inevitably run into people who think they know what’s best for you – people who think they’re better than you – people who think that happiness, success and beauty mean the same to everyone.

They will try to measure your worth based on what you have, not who you are. But you know better that material things don’t matter. Don’t chase after money. Catch up on the ideas and actions that bring you to life. Go after things of greater value – things that money can’t buy. It is important to have strength of character, an honest heart and a sense of self-worth. If you are lucky enough to have any of these items, never sell them. Never sell yourself short. (Mark and I discuss this in more detail in Self Love and Simplicity 1000 little things that happy and successful people do differently.)

5. Life is not a race; you have nothing to prove.

Everyone wants to be the first to reach the top of the mountain and shout, “Look at me! Look at me!” But the truth is, all your happiness and growth happens when you’re climbing, not when you’re sitting at the top. Enjoy the journey, paying attention to each step. Don’t rush through your life and miss it. Forget , where everyone else is in relation to you. It’s not a race. You get there little by little, not all at once.

Let go of the stupid need to prove yourself to everyone else, and you’ll free yourself up to achieve what matters most to you. Sometimes you need to remind yourself that you don’t always have to be and do what everyone else is doing.

6. The path to all great things is through failure.

You are a constantly changing work in progress. You don’t have to be right all the time, you just have to not worry too much about being wrong. Winding is part of the process. Sometimes looking like a fool is the only way forward. If you try too hard to impress everyone with your “perfection”, you will stunt your growth. You will spend all your time looking a certain way instead of living a certain way.

It is impossible to live without failure at times, unless you live so carefully that you are not really living at all – you are simply existing. If you are too afraid to fail in the eyes of others, you will not be able to do what needs to be done to become successful in your own eyes. You have to remember that it doesn’t matter how many times you fail or how muddy your path is, as long as you don’t stop taking small steps forward. After all, those who don’t care that failure is inevitable, achieve their dreams. YOU can be one of them. (Read The last lecture.)

7. Still, it is impossible to please everyone.

Some people will always tell you what you did wrong and then shy away from complimenting you on what you did right. Don’t be one of them and don’t put up with them.

If you encounter a person who discredits you, disrespects you, and mistreats you for no apparent reason, don’t get caught up in trying to change him or win his approval. And make sure that there is no room in your heart for their hatred. Simple walk away and let karma deal with what they say and dobecause any time you spend on these people will be wasted and any hatred and resentment in your heart will only hurt you in the end.

Late thoughts

You don’t need a standing ovation, a bestseller, a promotion, or a million bucks. You are enough now. You have nothing to prove. Care less about who you are to others and more about who you are to yourself. You will experience less heartache and frustration the minute you stop looking to others for the validation that only YOU can give yourself.

The floor is behind you…

How does wanting to be accepted get in the way of your life? What did it stop you from doing or being? How did you manage? Leave a comment below and share your thoughts with us.

Photo: Lali Masriera